You Can Work Out Anywhere...

If, like us, you have zero shame.

My friend K and I have a new plan. This plan largely rotates around wild fantasies of becoming the two hottest beings to grace planet earth since Helen of Troy. We know this planned is doomed to failure, but its funny and it inspires us to work hard at exercising and our bodies. The thought of going on a beach holiday with multiple members of my family serves the same purpose. Anyway.

We went out last night for a casual run about and quickly decided we just weren't in it for a slog. So I asked her if she fancied some torture. Enter, THE STAIRS.

Photo taken day after the pain.
These are the Granite Steps of Glasgow. They even have a sign. Google revealed that they were created by Charles Wilson in 1854 and were meant to have statues but ended up being so catastrophically expensive that they stuck with the stairs. I think he just made some tricky mistakes and gave up- there are two stairs much taller than the rest for a start.

We ended our warm up jog at the bottom of these imposing steps. K reflected what we were both thinking, "Fiona, I hate you.". Nonetheless, we designed a plan of one person running up and down the 3 flights, whilst the other did bodyweight exercises. It worked pretty well, although we took some definite liberties with the breaks.

Our total set of exercises were: squats, lunges, sumo squats, calf raises off the steps, inchworm with press up, held bridges, mountain climbers, donkey kicks, donkey side kicks. About 4 step runs in we gave up on that part and did the rest of the bodyweight stuff together. She thought we were done. Oh no.

We finished by doing a pyramid run of the steps. Up one flight, then up two, then the three, then two, then one. Throughout the pyramid we were observed by a sulky art school boy, sitting at the top silently smoking in the dark, with the lights of posh park circus on his back. He seemed confused. Or maybe we inspired his next masterpiece, who knows?

So to conclude, if you don't mind sticking your bum in the air above some listed steps, being silently judged by some Heathcliff-esque art man, shocking posh old men with your, erm, enthusiastic protests to step running and getting your hands dirty on ground that is near guaranteed to have broken glass on it, you can work out anywhere.


  1. Look out Helen of Troy ;)

    1. Yeahhhh, all I can say if is shit goes down-contrary to popular phrase- I WOULD encourage closely examining gift horses and their mouths.